This is basically pelvic floor physical therapy post two and a half.
Light bladder leaks is the current euphemism for wetting yourself or incontinence. I am not sure what the difference between a light bladder leak and a heavy bladder leak is. I do not think I have actually heard the term heavy bladder leak. Anyway, I have seizures, sometimes I pee myself with or immediately after said seizures. I don’t want to be dragging around a change of clothes at all times, so I wear a pad. This means that yes, I’m probably wearing a pad on dates. I used to get all nervous about the possibility of having seizures during sex (and yes during dates), I’ve mentioned that before. But when I started needing to wear pads regularly I had to deal with that as well. At first, I tried to hide it, taking them off as soon as I thought something sexy was likely to happen. That was kind of distracting though, because I’d have to make my exit to the bathroom when things maybe got unexpectedly hot and heavy. I had one partner that I wasn’t really comfortable talking to it about it, because it didn’t go well when I started to broach the issue, and I realized that that was part of his problem with periods. And that really the whole thing was his problem. (Also, probably a clue that maybe not the right guy for me.) (Bladder leak pads are basically, if not entirely, the same pads if you have girl parts – you can buy them with extra absorbability in different sections of the pad but I’m not sure how this helps, otherwise they just have different labels and prices.)
I’ve been with two other guys since I started needing to wear a pad most of the time due to my bladder and seizures being worse. The first one I told that I was a little embarrassed about needing to wear pads but I did and it was all fine. The second one I told that I wore pads and I’d appreciate it if he treated them like underwear and that was also fine. At this point, if someone has a problem with the idea, I don’t want to date them anyway. I do want to disclose somewhere between starting to grope each other and finding the pad, just because I know that some women don’t like having a menstrual pad groped and some men know that, so I’d like to make sure everyone knows what’s up before anyone thinks they might need to apologize for something.
You can buy disposable underwear with pads built in that look fairly un-diaper-like and even fairly sexy (OK, sexy might be pushing it, but they aren’t what we used to call granny panties), but that gets expensive fast. They also make washable fabric underwear to hold the “light bladder leaks”, but they only hold really light leaks – as in, I’ve been known to produce more fluid because my date is getting me wet. There is also always the option of finding someone who has a diaper fetish (although it isn’t sexy to me at all, sadly) or is into water sports.